Perhaps I Will Blog Again, Perhaps Not

But in the interim:

20 years ago I...
was in the sixth grade. Having fully transitioned from squatting in miserable hovels and living off the land to a modern home my father built, I'd theoretically adjusted to life in my third year in Union, Maine. I was extraordinarily chemically depressed but not yet medicated. I was intellectually and interpersonally unable or uninterested in relating or bonding with peers. I formed unabashed obsessive fixations on love interests that were unrequited. I had read the complete Stephen King collection through twice. I ate lunch in the guidance office where they video taped conversations with me and sent them to the National Association of Gifted Children.

10 years ago I...
was 21, and had found a mutually destructive but devoted new family through my thrice weekly religious attendance at ManRay, the local goth club. I drank every day and was in unrequited love with some cruel insane guy thirteen years older than me. I met Mattalyst, who tried to save me from myself.

5 years ago I...
was 26, and was living at the Peacock's Lair with my Mattalyst, agnosticoracle, gingerkat and unferth as well as a menagerie of pets. Life had stabilized for me, as I was properly medicated for the first time in my life and was recuperating from a series of relationship misfires. ManRay closed in July, and I never really bothered to socialize again, but I redirected some of the energy into self-actualization.

1 year ago I...
had just begun working part-time for a non-profit while devoting more time to voice acting and addressing my health problems. I spent most of the year struggling with my narcolepsy and balancing my medication. There was little else to note.

So far this year, I've...
hired a professional organizer (from the A&E show Horders) to help me with my Problem with Objects, begun a new relationship with an amazing guy and unofficially observed my ten-years with Mattalyst, watched in awe as my younger sister (and hero) pushed through her graduate program to become a magic scientist of some kind.

Yesterday I...
went to work, called two doctors, refilled two prescriptions, took a long cold shower before bedtime, started a new book.

Today I...
woke up Mattalyst, went to the phrarmacy for meds, had a nice conversation with another motorcycle stuck in traffic with me, bought cigarettes and coffee, sang a song with a homeless man, and came in to work.

Tomorrow I'll...
wake/work/coffee/smokes, girl-date with my friend Ashley where we watch girl-tv and talk about boys, home/meds/sleep.

An Update on Miss Delilah

I've landed several fun acting parts in movies and radio shows, and I sure will be posting links to y'all when I know when they can be seen! First off there is this awesome live production of old school radio dramas for Halloween called Tomes of Terror where you can see 1940's radio drama done live by actors and old school foley teams on stage, it's going to be so fun! I'm in the first act, the little comedy piece of the 1946 Baby Snooks Show Halloween Special.

Cheers, LJ.
  • Current Mood
    amused w00t

Safety First

I'm taking a motorcycle safety course next month to get my motorcycle license (although you don't need one for the Vespa technically, I may one day upgrade). If anyone has been thinking of doing this and wants to join me, let me know and I'll hit you with the details. It's $265 and in Hyde Park over the course of a weekend (Friday 6-11, Sat/Sun 12-5).
  • Current Mood
    busy busy

August Goings On

I took a brief jaunt to Northern Maine to surprise my sister over the weekend. She was definitely surprised and it was great to see her, but it meant about 10+ hours of travel time each way so it was a bit of a whirlwind.

My last day at my current job is the 29th and I am so excited to start working for the bakery. I have no regrets at all. Work is going to be kind of hellish these next couple weeks but I'm so detached at this point that I can pretty much take it in stride.

I landed my first professional acting job yesterday on the webisodal series High Heel Samurai (Stop lol'ing). Stay tuned!

I will leave you with this amazing vignette of Peter Murphy covering NIN's Hurt on his birthday last month:
  • Current Mood
    chipper so good

Playing In Traffic, Day 3

I love it so much! It really is something I look forward to at the start and end of each day, a little vrooooom. I've been car-free since about 2000 and it's really a novel thing to not spending so much time in my day waiting for the increasingly unreliable train/bus in Boston. The only scary part of my commute is Commonwealth Ave because people drive like jerks there, but traffic also moves incredibly slow so it's not terribly dangerous, just annoying.

I am so glad I did this.
  • Current Mood
    good good

Breaking News: My Job, I Quit It

After months of miscommunication and frustration, my job and I are parting ways. I have never quit a job after being there so briefly (only two years!) but it was time to go. I love the company and the people, and the compensation package is unparalleled, so it was a hard decision, but my boss (who is an accountant by day and a cop by night) becomes really hard to handle under pressure and I needed to let go.

Incredibly, the woman who owns the bakery next door to my house and whom I really adore, said OMG I NEED AN ACCOUNTANT when I told her I was on the outs, and has extended me a reasonable offer that should keep my head above water. It's comparable to my current package financially, although we will have to figure out things like vacation time and retirement since she has never had a professional employee (just her retail and kitchen staff).

I am very excited and looking forward to wrapping things up with the non-profit and moving on to new and exciting things. I feel confident about this decision and direction. Wish me luck!
  • Current Mood
    cheerful cheerful

On Life and Love

I had a wonderful opportunity to meet autumnsshadow's new primary partner the other night over dinner. Since I haven't talked about my love life here in quite some time I think I will give a synopsis, folks do tend to love that around these parts. Back in the early nineties when I was in junior high, I placed an ad for pen pals in a national magazine (using the handle "Glass Spider"), looking for sad little goth souls to write to. That's where I found Elijah initially. We wrote for some time, snailmail, and I fantasized about having a sexy out of town boyfriend and it kept me going in that small town thirteen-year-old way. We soon moved on to real life teenage experiences and stopped corresponding, but found one another on the internet about five years ago. We were thrilled to discover we were both living polyamorous lifestyles with primary significant others, and our worlds collided intensely and passionately for a few years. We traveled together and became close as one another's OSO's (other significant others). Over a year ago now, we stopped seeing so much of one another, primarily because I became distant as I fought my existential crises and depression and didn't have the energy to go out as much as I ought, and I'm embarrassed by how unresponsive I was during that time when he reached out to be supportive and supported. At any rate, we both spent time focusing on ourselves for a while and have only reconnected recently, which has been great. Since the time that his life has split from his primary partner of over a decade and fallen head over heels for a clever girl from Colarado, catalyticdragon. She's moving here to live with him in his new abode, and I was so excited to meet her the other night, and had high hopes that she would be awesome and I wouldn't worry about him and all. She's neato (phew!), and I'm excited to get to know her better once she moves into their new place next month. It is invigorating and inspirational to see people my own age still able to tap the intensity of New Relationship Energy and act so smitten and squiffy, and their adoration for one another was simply contagious and made me giggle and flutter a bit just being peripheral to it. It's really one of my favorite things about polyamory, to be able to share in that glow that comes from watching people fall for one another! I know he's going to spend most of his energy cultivating their connection in the months to come, but it seems there is plenty of room for me to still be present in some capacity, and that makes me happy. :)

In my home life it seems Mattalyst and I have been some sort of item for around seven years at this point, which is fucking crazy. We have had a lot of ups and downs in that time but he's my best friend in the world and he makes me laugh every day, even when we're both depressed and feeling crappy about work or our subpar social lives. I can't speak for him, but think if I had a funny little dog and he had a kitty, and if I could be a better roommate with the cleaning, etc., we might be the happiest we've ever been. I look forward to what happens next.
  • Current Mood
    happy happy